Posted by: stephtong | 16 June, 2010

Do you think women can be control freaks?

Thinking about the position of wife in a marriage, and that leads me to Kevin J. Conner’s book “The Ministry of Women”. I still haven’t finished reading it because you will probably spend 5 minutes pondering each page! There are so much to talk about Adam and Eve and how women is put under the leadership of men after the fall… but that will be for a later blog…

God created man first before woman. God’s divine order is man then woman, note that order doesn’t mean superior/inferior here, it’s simply order of 1-2-3.

During the fall, Eve gave the “fruit” to Adam. She ate it first. She became the first sinner. The woman sinned by taking the fruit from the tree. Man sinned in taking the fruit from the woman, his wife. If woman is created as a helper to the man, this woman is surely not being a helper to him. She has “lead” him into sin. The “divine order” has flipped.

Why on earth did Adam listen to Eve? He clearly knows that God told him not to have that fruit, but he listened to his wife rather than standing firm on the instructions given by God. Maybe Adam was trying to please his wife, because listening to her and doing what she says makes her happy?

Sometimes women can be like Eve, not saying we lead men into sin, but taking things into our own hands. If Eve had even thought about asking Adam’s opinion, maybe things will turn out different. Do we push something into our husband’s face that it’s almost impossible for him to say no? Do we subconsciously always think our way is always better because it has worked before? Have we actually created space for our men to lead? Or even perhaps, we want to “win” in the relationship?



  1. There are probably times in your husband’s life where it would do you both well to take things into your own hands. Conversely, there are probably times when it would be best to hold back and let him lead.

    In both of these paths, I think it’s important to have the right heart when you do either the former or the later, after all doesn’t God look first at our hearts and then our actions?

    In each situation, pushing your own agenda or holding back excessively can leave your husband feeling pressured or isolated, respectively, in the decision that he, ultimately, has to make.

    Also, don’t disregard the burden of responsibility that he may be feeling in leading your family along life’s path towards righteousness. While it may appear that he get to lead, a good husband is probably aware (in the back of his mind) that the seed that he sows today, he will have to reap either the reward or punishment in the future.

    Of course, my thoughts in this regard are purely theoretical…

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